My Notebook
by helenstl
Summary: This is a 10 parter story, picking up from when Allie gets the art room at Noah's. It is a different take on what could have happened and how it could have ended before it ends. Read and Respond...its not THAT bad eh?
1. Part 1 of 10

I have been a member here since late last year. I have this story fully done and already posted on two message boards. I thought I should use this place sometime (now)

I have three other stories, (One done and two on going) they are Ryan & Rachel stories. (I don't think that is allowed here, I read the rules but slightly confused at one or two of them) anyway not important. This is probably the only Notebook story I will ever do, I enjoyed writing it alot, it was fun. I have one which is on going right now about Ryan and Rachel making The Notebook which is rather cool, a little hard but fun still!

On with it huh!

You will get where I am picking it up from...it is clear AND oh yeah-

_I don't own The Notebook, or anything associated with it (Noah or Allie), other than these ideas for this story. It is fully owned by Nicholas Sparks & Nick C (the movie version)_

OKAY well ENJOY!

**My Notebook  
PART 1**

Allie leans over towards the easel as she dabs the paint brush lightly against the canvas. She found the room which held paint supplies beyond her wildest imagination in it. It's her room. Allie pauses for a moment sitting back admiring her work. It has been so very long since she has painted, since she has felt the smooth end of a paint brush in her hand, between her fingers. And it feels very good right now. Once upon a time this is all she did, when she was a girl, painting was her escape. Right now as much as she enjoys it she tries to think about what her escape is as a woman, and her head starts to ache thinking about it because she has nothing.

She licks her full lips as her mind is pulled back to painting the outside world as it is. Her body is on fire as she feels alive sitting there feeling free, feeling no inhibition, the feeling of being able to sit nude outside and not have to worry about what other people think, or how a lady should act, is wonderful. Noah gives her that feeling, he always has. She can let her hair down, and be herself without having to worry about others judging eyes on her. And that is something she has rarely…she hasn't experienced in 7 years. Allie's heart pounds when she thinks about him and last night and the night before in the rain. "Ah" She lets out a harsh breath. Her head lowers and chests heaves, she is trying to get her breathing under control. Her wavy hair falls down into her face, as her chin is pressed to her chest. The grip on the paint brush is lessened by each breath she takes and the sound of the outside mixes with her breath and the clang of the brush hitting the balcony floor. She snaps out of her panic attack and runs both hands into her hair taking one last deep breath. "Shoot" She mutters looking down at the paint now staining the floor beneath her.

* * *

Noah walks out of the market carrying a bag of things for breakfast. He is sure Allie still can't cook. He doesn't care because she is there and it doesn't matter who makes the breakfast, because they will have it together. Noah smiles as he walks back to his truck. 

"Noah" Aside from responding to his name, he recognizes the voice, after all of these years. "Where is my daughter?"

Noah looks at Mrs. Hamilton. "Good morning to you Mrs. Hamilton" He would be surprised to see her any other day, but not today. Not when Allie has been with him and surely Mrs. Hamilton knows. She is a woman who would know. So no he is not surprised to see her.

"Good day Mr. Calhoun"

"That was my father" Noah tells her, jumping around, not staying focused on what she asked in the first second she must have seen him.

"Where is Allie?"

"At my house" He answer her calmly, his voice strong but still pleasant. His eyes run over Mrs. Hamilton watching her. He watches as her jaw tightens, and she looks as if her mind is thinking like a motor is made to move. He knows she knows that he and Allie made love; just by the way she looks.

"She needs to come to her hotel"

"I don't think that is going to happen" Noah tells the older woman. "Mrs. Hamilton" politely.

Mrs. Hamilton shifts to the other foot, her polished heels shine in the sun light and she looks at the boy who has turned into a man. Seven years ago she had him in her home, calling him trash, and demanding her daughter not to see him anymore. Her opinion has changed slightly. She wants what is best for Allie; she knows Lon is the best. But what Allie wants is now important to her, or rather she is more willing to listen to what her daughter wants. Mrs. Hamilton wants to see her daughter though. "I need to speak with her"

"No" Noah says shaking his head.

"She is my daughter; tell her I will pick her up at 4" Mrs. Hamilton demands. She does not like the way Noah is speaking to her, or trying to keep her daughter from her. Mrs. Hamilton looks at him and says nothing more. The only other sound is her heels against the cement of the side walk.

Noah watches her go, and then he gets into his truck and drives the way back to the house.

* * *

Allie walks around the large house peek her head into every room for a second, not sure how much she is allowed to snoop. Her bare feet make a sticky sound on the hardwood floors through out the house. Her hands hold the red wool blanket around her body lightly. She doesn't want to put on her dress. When she steps to the end of the hall she looks out of the window and sees Noah's truck. Smiling she moves to turn and greet him downstairs but her eye catches something. The diamonds on her engagement locked some sun light away and now it is reflecting onto the cream coloured walls. Allie pauses and looks at the pattern it is making on the walls. She then looks at her finger, moving it, looking at this beautiful piece of jewelry. The overwhelming feeling over guilt covers her body. 

"Allie?" Noah calls as he enters the house.

"Hi" She whispers standing at the top of the stairs, she watches him wipe his feet on the mat at the front door.

"Got breakfast things" He tells her holding up the bag. Noah looks at her descend the staircase slowly; careful not to trip over the long red blanket they both know so well. "How are you?" He says touching the side of her face gently. There is something in her eyes he is trying to read. But he can't, she is not letting him.

"I have to go" Allie whispers the words she herself has been dreading to say. She knew they were coming, she knew they were coming from her side because Noah wouldn't tell her she has to go. But she still as much as she know, she wasn't prepared for them to fall from her lips.

Noah looks at her lower lip quiver with uncertainty. He knows…he thinks she doesn't want to go, he himself doesn't want her to go, but he knew these words were coming. He thought they would come after their first afternoon together, but they didn't. He thought again after Martha showed up, but she spent the night but now they have been spoken. Just hours after he finished worshiping her body for the second time in a day and a half the words are spoken. "You're just going to leave" He says looking down at her. He sees how heavy her eyes are with tears. Unshed tears, unshed for now.

"I-I have" Allie stubbles over words. Seeing…noticing the ring still on her finger and the knowledge of what she has done, what they did together just was the tip of the ice berg. "I have to go"

"Is this about your mother?"

"My mother?" She says using one hand to hold the blanket together and the other one to wipe her wet cheek, she looks at him furrowing her brow.

"She wants to talk to you" He tells her. "Did she call and say something to you?" He wonders, if this is why she finally told him she has to go.

"No" Allie whispers shaking her head. "But now I really have to go" She turns and runs up the stairs to get her things. She hears Noah hot on her tail.

* * *

Noah gets into his room and he sees her slip back into her dress, his eyes watch as the pale skin of her back disappear under the blue of her dress. "Don't go Allie" He whispers, causing her to turn around and look at him. 

"I'm getting married" She tells him with wide eyes. "I-I…I um" She stops because the tears fall from her eyes and she covers her mouth lowering her head to weep.

"Just stay with me, god please" He begs her gently, not going over to comfort her.

"I can't, Noah" She composed herself and her hands fly to button the many buttons of her dress, finally covering herself fully from his eyes. Allie smoothes both hands over her cheeks to brush away the rest of the tears.

"Why are you going back to him…why Al?" Noah questions her as she puts the belt back on her dress and fastens it, her eyes finally look at his and he waits for her answer.

"Because, I have to" She tells him now much more composed feeling sad, and tired.

"You make love to me…more than once" He says to her, and he watches her turn her face away when he says that, much like she doesn't want to hear the truth. "What, it's the truth isn't it?" His voice grows louder, more harsh than it has, than he has used in a very long time.

"Yes!" She yells at him. "Yes, I know"

"So we make love" He says again, watching her seeing her reaction and she just stares at him, as if she is trying to stay focused and composed this time around. "And you run back to him"

"Lon" She says. "His name is Lon, Noah, I have a fiancée waiting for me, my mother" She gaps touching her chest. "Knows I am here, and maybe even Lon, I" She says stopping. "I. Have. To. Go" She says each word is clearly defined.

"You don't have to do anything"

"Only what you want" She tells him.

"No what you want" Noah corrects, telling her, her staying, him saying she wants to stay is what she wants, not just what he wants.

"Noah" She says his name. "I don't want to make the past few days into something awful because" She shuts her eyes and licks her lips. "They were beautiful, I felt so beautiful with you" She tells him. "But we can't last, we can't be reckless, I was reckless"

Noah says nothing, he just looks at her, his hand comes up and he runs it through his hand. He nods and turns to head out of his bedroom, leaving her there.

* * *

Allie finds her shoes in the hall near the kitchen, she hears Noah in the kitchen, and wonders if she should go in. In the bathroom she fixed her hair, she pulled it back, and she looks like the Allie she has been for the past seven years. 

Noah hears her heels on the floor as she enters the kitchen. His back is to the doorway and he keeps it like that not attempting to make conversation because in his eyes everything has already been said.

"Noah…I'm" Allie waits for him to turn around before she speaks again, but he doesn't. He is mixing something, pancake batter most likely. "Going now" She says to his back. Licking her lips she waits for him to acknowledge her presence or what she said, and when he doesn't Allie just turns to head out the front door.

* * *

In the kitchen Noah hears the light slam of the screen door, and he sighs, he inhales a large breath, and sweeps his hand over the counter sweeping it towards the measuring cup, and bowl containing the beginning of the pancake batter. Everything crashes to the floor. And he braces his hands on the counter, resting his head on the top, and letting out his breath. 


	2. Part 2 of 10

**PART 2**

Allie stares at her mother hard as the tears fall down her face. "Give them to me!" She demands.

"Allison Hamilton you will control yourself" Mrs. Hamilton tells her daughter sternly.

"You kept them from me, you kept him from me, how could you do that?" Allie says shaking her head, slowly trying to understand what kind of mother does that to her daughter, her child. Allie looks down and takes in a deep breath.

"How could you be so reckless…with Lon's heart and sleep with that man!" Mrs. Hamilton says looking at her daughters bowed head. "You could get yourself pregnant, then what Allie?" She waits for an answer.

Allie feels 17 years old now, as she stands before her mother in judgment. She breathes as she looks up with her mouth open as she just sucked in a breath. Her eyes scan over her mothers hard face, she looks mad but also concerned. Allie doesn't know if she is concerned about her or about how the ladies at the club would look upon them if anyone were to find out. That would only happen if Lon doesn't take her back. That could be the cause of her mothers concern.

"Answer me, then what?" She demand from her daughter still.

"I don't know mother, I don't know!" Allie looks at her and throws her hand to the side. "I don't know" She whispers now looking to the side for a moment.

"Lon is coming, he'll be here by 5" Mrs. Hamilton says running her palm over her hair that confrontation with Allie made her feel frazzled, she feels the need to smooth herself. Her hands run down her skirt, and takes a small breath in.

"I want the letters" Allie tells her mother.

"You need to focuses less on Noah Calhoun and more on your soon to be husband and his forgiveness of you, get your head out of the clouds Allie. That time is over, you are not 17 anymore" She tells her daughter sternly. "You need to act like a grown women"

"Then treat me like one" Allie says wiping her eyes again.

"You need to wash up" Mrs. Hamilton moves to push Allie's hair back. "Brush your hair, and change" She says before leaving the room and heading down the hall to her own room.

* * *

Noah walks onto the balcony because the door is open and he sees all of the art things. The stool, the canvas with a painting on it. That site actually makes him mad, and feel hurt. She used the things he bought for her, and then left. In his mind doing that would make them together. Noah bites his lip and turns shutting the balcony door, leaving everything, not wanting to touch it, because that would be like touching her. Noah has his hands in his pockets as he walks down the hall towards his bedroom. The bedroom he never uses. The bedroom he has never brought a women to. The bed has only seen love when he was with Allie. She used it the first time. He rests his whole body on the door frame, as he just looks in. He looks at the unmade bed, and the red wool blanket on the floor where she dropped it when she changed. Taking his time he walks into the room and pulls at the bedding, pulling it harshly off of the bed. Noah flings it to the floor in anger. Once the bed is ridden of her scent he climbs into it and sleeps. His body feels drained, from rowing, from Allie, holding her, touching, yelling at her, from throwing the things in the kitchen from ripping off the bedding. He just sleeps.

* * *

Allie sits on the chair in the room as she looks at Lon standing in front of her. "I do love you" She tells him softly.

"Then why?"

Allie's voice catches in her throat and she makes a sound like she is about to cry. But she has no more tears left, there is nothing left to cry out. "I feel different with him, I act on impulse…and I know"

"That's no way to live Allie" He says to her gently. Lon moves and he kneels down in front of her.

Allie watches him not acknowledging what he just said, just looking at him.

"Are you alright?" He questions his face and voice full of concern, wanting her to still be with him and to forget about this Noah.

Allie nods quickly, she feels his hands rest on her thighs gently, and she turns her head away when they caress her. And she bites her lower lip.

"Hey" He says softly, pushing up once she looks at him and he kisses her full on the mouth, waiting for her the open her mouth to him. When Allie doesn't he takes the opportunity to do it, he holds her face gently and kisses her deeply. "When we get married" He says pulling away kissing her once more on her shut mouth, and damp lips. "Everything will be wonderful"

"How do you know?"

"Because I love you, and you love me…I will give you anything" Lon tells her standing he taps her nose lightly once much like one would do to a dog or a small child.

* * *

Allie smiles with her friends as she moves through the store picking out the flowers. She insisted that she would do what she needs to do to get this wedding underway. The wedding is in two weeks and still there is much that needs to be done. Her mother has been hounding her night and day, making sure she is still focused on the wedding and Lon. Her mind drifts to Noah every now and then but she live an hour away from him so it's easy to forget, or try to keep him out of her every thought. It has been 3 weeks since she has seen him since that wonderful morning of painting, followed by their bitter and goodbye less goodbye. Allie quickly wipes a stray tear when her name is called. Muffy a girl about her age whom she has known for about a year now who will be her maid of honor calls her pointing wildly at something. Allie smiles and walks over to her.

* * *

Martha slowly approached the back door. She smiles when she sees Noah sitting on the porch cradling a bowl in his left palm. A spoon in his right hand gently between his finger tips. "She is getting married in two weeks" Martha greets with that line. She watches him say nothing and look at his oatmeal lifting the spoon to his mouth. It is topped with warm cream coloured paste. "I read it in the paper yesterday" She says expecting him to say something to her. She hasn't seen him in three weeks, not since she met Allie. She decided to bite the bullet and drive over because of what she read, wondering what happened between them. "Noah?"

"Look Martha I don't feel like talking about this" He lifts his eyes up to her, he looks at her leaning against the house in a pretty floral dress. He watches her look at him hr arms folded around her middle. The light wind blows at her dress, reveling some pale skin. "Do you want to go inside?" He asks her, Noah licks his lips as he watches her brush a loose curl out of her face. He notices how different she looks from Allie, how much older and more mature she is. How she knows what she wants and what he needs.

"Yes" She tells him. She watches Noah stand, resting the bowl on the step he was just sitting on, he takes her hand and leads her into his house.

* * *

Noah uses the bed he always uses with her. The downstairs bedroom with a lead way into the kitchen. He always works up an appetite with Martha. Noah watches her fix herself a drink like she has always done when they finish. He rests his body against the bed and touches his bare chest with his finger tips. Noah knows he is not being fair to her because of how she feels, and how she needs someone, something real for herself. But she is a grown woman who makes her own choices and if she didn't want to be there with him she wouldn't.

"Do you want a drink?"

"A beer" He calls back to her, Noah watches her bend down and grab one from the bottom of the fridge. He hears the sound it makes when she opens the cap for him. "Thanks" He mutters taking it from her hand. Noah waits until she is settled before taking a drink from the head.

"I wanted this Noah" She tells him, telling him she is okay. She saw his love for Allie, gone now or not, she saw it, and it made her feel again. But it doesn't change the fact that sometimes people just need someone right then and there. She is that for Noah, and he is that for her. Right now anyway.

"I know" He says before taking another sip and wiping his lips on the top of his hand. "And I needed this" He finally says after 5 minutes of total silence.

"I know" Martha nods before drinking down the rest of her small drink.

* * *

Lon pulls up to the very large house. He shuts his car door with a light slam. Allie knows he came to Seabrook today, because of business. Business is what he told her. What he told his soon to be wife was not a lie, though the type of business has to do with…"Noah Calhoun" Lon says to the man walking out of the large barn type building on the side of the house.

Noah walks towards the very well dressed man whom he has never seen. "Who are you?" Noah holds his beer in one hand and wipes his brow with the other.

"In 1 week I am getting married" Lon says, he looks at Noah's face which is still slightly confused. Lon knows the confusion will be gone in a few moments when he finishes. "Soon we will be, Mr. & Mrs. Lon Hammond" He says. "Mrs. Allison Hammond, that's my wife" He adds to the end.

"What do you want?" Noah asks the man who seems to be gloating, causing him great anger at this point, anger and rage.

"To give you this" Lon extends his hand which has a white envelope in it.

"Is this from Allie?" Noah questions almost dumbly because that would be very awkward for Lon to be bringing it over.

"No" Lon chuckles at the mans question. "This is from me, to make sure you remember"

Noah looks at him he opens the envelope as his eyes stay on Lon's. Noah only looks down to see what the contents are. "Get off my land" Noah tells him, his hand crushes the item as he takes a step towards Lon, and Lon takes a step back.

"I just want to make sure we are clear" Lon says to Noah. "Are we clear?"

"Get off my land" Noah says again, his tone is telling Lon if he doesn't remove himself he will gladly remove him.

Lon looks at Noah, the man who is trying to recapture his fiancées heart, and he turns to get into his car and head back the way he came.

Noah watches Lon drive away and he throws the paper to the dirt and turns to head back to the shed.

* * *

**'We Celebrate the Sanctity of Marriage'  
between  
Ms. Allison Anne Elizabeth Hamilton  
&  
Mr. Lon Cole Hammond Jr.**

The invitation blows with the wind.


	3. Part 3 of 10

This one is wee because it is mine and I wanted it like this :-)

OKAY  
Thank you & ENJOY!

**PART 3**

Her face is plastered with a smile. It actually hurts to smile this much. But Allie is happy, she is, though she knows she could be happier with Noah. She is happy enough, as she sits next to Lon at the head table, smiling. Everyone looks so amazing today…her wedding day. They are all so happy for her, the paper was there for a while and took some pictures of her smiling so brightly. Lon has been amazing, not to mention amazingly forgiving.

"Allie honey you look beautiful" Mrs. Baker her mothers good friend comes up smiling. She leans in and kisses Allie's cheek.

"Oh thank you" She smiles up at the older woman.

"Allie, hi Mary" Anne Hamilton says with a smile as she approaches her daughter. "Lon, Allie" She makes a face. "You two need to get out on the dance floor"

Lon clears his throat and smiles, he wipes his mouth on the cloth napkin. "Shall we?" He stands holding his hand out to Allie.

She smiles, taking his hand, standing. She moves with him he leads her onto the dance floor.

* * *

Noah sits in his truck outside the Hamilton's summer home, right now it is the wedding location. He has only been inside once before, when he last saw Allie 7 years ago. He looks at the house wondering if the wedding party is out back where he went to lunch once all those summers ago. Noah licks his lips. The next thing he knows he is walking up to the front of the house. His ears listen to the music which is playing softly somewhere. He knows if he follows it he will find Allie, and her husband and their many guests. Entering the Hamilton summer home it looks the same. The greatness of each room is somewhat overwhelming even as a man. He lives in a large home but at the same time it is very modest, very plain on the inside. There is not large chandelier in the ceiling or grand rug covering the hardwood. Noah sees people busying themselves in the kitchen. Walking towards the back with trays.

"Can I help you?" A man dressed in a very fine suit, though he is the help. "Noah?"

Noah looks at the man and frowns wondering who this is.

"It's me Mitch, hey" Mitch grabs him into a hold, a firm manly hold.

"Oh hey" Noah pats the other mans back firmly, when they part he smiles a bit and looks at him. Mitch worked with him at the lumber yard years ago. They fell out of touch, as he did with most of his worker friends when he and Fin left for the army. "You are working here?" Noah asks pointing down indicating the house the party.

"Just for the day…your girl Allie is married" Mitch tells him, knowing he already knows but just to say something, because Noah looks different, aside from older.

"She is not my girl" Noah says with a little nod. "Is the party out back?"

"Yeah" Mitch says watching him, nodding a bit. "Do you want me to get her?"

Noah's eyes widen and he frowns at the same time, trying to remember if he and Mitch were ever really that close for him to do this for him. "Would she come?"

"I'll think of something, go out to the front" Mitch pats Noah's shoulder and heads off towards the soft music.

* * *

Allie holds her gown up a little as she walks with Mitch. She remembers him for ages ago, and he seems like a very nice guy. "It's not a problem Mitch" Allie smiles. "We just won't tell my mother" She laughs a bit. She stops her step when he opens the screen front door for her.

"Thank you Miss. Allie, it's right out there" He leans out holding it open and letting her step out first. He doesn't follow her.

* * *

Allie gets out and turns quickly when the screen shuts as does the large wooden door. She frowns and moves to open it.

Noah looks at her from one end of the porch and his heart breaks just a bit more. Seeing her like that, so beautiful, but married to someone else. Noah clears his throat as she has her body half way back inside the house. He watches her pause and lean back outside in the bright summer air.

"Noah" She whispers his name. Her eyes trace over his body his hands are shoved deep into his slacks and he looks like he tried to dress up but just didn't quite get it. She moves away from the door her eyes still locked on him. Allie pulls the large wooden door shut again letting the screen door fall and gently close after her, careful not to get her dress caught in it.

Noah looks at her walk over to him slowly, holding her dress, and she looks so beautiful. He has never really gotten to see her as a woman looking so elegant. Being the elegant woman she was raised to be. "Hi" He whispers softly.

"You're here" Her eyes scan over his face, back and forward, so very quickly. Allie licks her red lips and she looks at him, wanting him to speak. She hasn't seen or spoken to him in a month and a week. "Say something"

"You look beautiful" He says what he has thought from the moment he saw her. He watches her chest heave as she sucks in a large breath and lets it out. "Don't cry" He tells her, knowing her, how her emotions are always all over the place. He loves that about her, loves that she is happy one minute and in devastation the next. He loves how her tears flow touching him deep in his heart when he watches her.

Allie shakes her head a bit her veil which hangs down the back of her head moves with her. "I'm married" She tells him.

"You wore a veil" He says looking over her dress again, from her feet to her head.

Allie turns her back on him and shuts her eyes tightly, resting her face into her hands and she feels like she is going into another panic attack. Her emotions for him, for Lon, the day, what she knows she is expected to do are all over the place, in a mass heap. There just isn't the time to sort through them all. She left it up to her mother, father and Lon, their expectations. Now Noah is here behind her and she feels her own personal wants mixed with what she knows he wants from her, and she can't cope.

Noah watches her with a frown on his face as he hears her ragged quick breathes. "I just came to tell you congratulations"

"Thank you" She mumbles out, her hands over her face make her words muffled.

Noah touches his cheek and rubs it for a moment, he turns to walk off, down the steps towards his truck, parked in a way where he just has to go forward, there is no point in going back now.

"Noah wait" She shouts not loud but it is a shout, she watches him stop and she carefully goes down the steps stopping on the 2nd before the bottom. "That's it?" She wonders looking at him. He turned around and is standing at the very bottom on the gravel, looking back at her. "That's it?"

He doesn't speak just nods, because she is married and there is nothing else for him to say to her, nothing more which can be said between them. Her height is now his as she stands looking at him, there is some distance between them, two steps worth but they are still close. Noah looks over her face and he takes the back of her head pulling her into a crushing kiss. Noah moves his lips over hers, he hears her whimper into his mouth. He feels her hands and nail tips against his bearded skin as she holds him to enjoy the kiss with great passion, as he is.

Allie pulls back when she needs oxygen, she lifts her eyes to his, resting her forehead on his nose, breathing him in. "I'm sorry" She whispers. She didn't start the kiss but she didn't stop it either. She should have been the one to stop it before it started, its her wedding day.

"I know" He says. He knows she is saying sorry for more than just the kiss even though he kissed her. She is saying sorry for last month in his bed, and the way things went. He isn't sorry for being with her like that. Noah shuts his eyes and rubs his nose against her forehead making their moment last longer. "I should go"

"Okay" Allie pulls back and looks at him she feels weak, weakened by that kiss. She bites her lip and she watches him turn and head to his truck. She wills herself to stay put on that step and not run after him, going wherever he goes. She knows that she can't always act on impulse now.

* * *


	4. Part 4 of 10

**PART 4**

Allie sits in the drawing room of her home with Lon. They just recently returned from their two week honeymoon in New York City. She loves it there, and it has only gotten better over the years. They stayed at the fanciest hotel one could dream of. Lon made sure she had any and everything she needed. He treats her like a Queen. And she loves and hates it. It's nice to be treated like a normal person at times, so she knows for herself that she is not made of the glass he sees her as.

Allie fiddles with the paper crossing her legs to catch it when it starts to slide down her un crossed knees. The tea cup is shaky in her hand as she reads. 'Seabrook's New Restoration for Sale' She looks at the house. His house. The photo is much like the one she saw that day she fainted, trying on her gown. And 2 months later the house is back in the paper. This time because it just got put on the market in a big way. Her eyes widen as she starts to read the small tid-bit at the bottom of the photo.

"Allie love" Lon comes in fixing the cuff on his sleeve, he looks at her when she doesn't acknowledge him. "Hi" He says his hand smoothing down her head and resting at the base of her skull. He leans down and finds her lips. Her head still not lifting to look at or kiss him. "Allie?"

Allie pulls her eyes away from the paper, and her tea cup drops when Lon's face is directly in front of hers ready for a kiss. "Oh!" She exclaims actually startled by him. "Oh the rug" She says standing up now that he stepped back and she has room.

"Leave it" He bends a little to take her hands. His hands hold her upper arms. The paper still firmly in one hand. "What has gotten you all jumpy?" He says taking the paper out of her hand. "We should buy this house" He says as he looks at what she was reading about.

"We can't" Allie says looking down at the tea.

"Someone will clean it" He tells her. "It can be our summer home, we can vacation with your parents"

"My parents summer home…I'm just going to" She says of the tea, wanting to clean it up. Allie turns around and grabs her cloth napkin off of her tray. She goes swiftly to the floor, to dab the wet patch and pick up her cup.

"Satisfied?" Lon questions her, resting the paper in her empty chair, he gets a nod from his wife, as she throws the cloth onto the tray. "We should buy it"

"You just bought this house" She tells him, Lon surprised her with this house in Charlotte when they got back from New York. "And we can stay in my parents summer house, it is large enough"

"I don't know" He says making a thinking face, as he wraps his arms around her waist pulling her close. Lon takes his time as he kisses her neck gently.

"Lon?" Allie moans his name her hands are wrapped around his neck, staying close also.

"Hmm" He mumbles. "Work, I know" He pulls back kissing her nose and letting her go. "I'll look into this house, just incase" He tells his wife who is looking extremely apprehensive about the whole idea. He knows why too but he just can't seem to muster the strength to care she and her lover shared a night in that house a few months ago. The ball is in his court if he ends up owning it, the changes he could make would make her fully forget about that night. "I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah" Allie smiles a bit and nods, moving her hands over the front of her robe and she adjusts it to be more shut than it already is. She watches him turn and head out the door. Allie waits for a second or two, her eyes look at the door when she sees it open again, wondering if Lon forgot something. She sighs softly when Fran enters her maid. Allie grew up with wealth and a great deal of service in her home. But living with Lon now she is slowly turning into a child. Her every need is being cartered too. When she was growing up though she had the service she did for herself.

"Good morning Mrs. Hammond, I am here to help you dress"

Allie looks at Fran for a moment. "I-I don't" When she hears the car, she turns and runs to the bedroom window. That window has an amazing view of the front drive. There is a small fountain in the center, forming a circle. Cars drive around it to enter and exit the small but grand estate. She watches Lon's car pull out of the heavy iron gates.

"Mrs…"

"Call me Allie please Fran" She turns and interrupts the older woman. "I can dress on my own, thank you"

"Mr. Hammond told me to come up here and help you" She explains to the lady of the house.

"No" Allie shakes her head. "There will be no more helping me dress" Allie makes it clear. She looks at Fran's worried face. "Don't worry I will talk to my husband, but can you do something for me?" Allie holds onto the ties of her robe as she takes a few steps in Fran's direction.

"Anything Mrs…Allie" She quickly corrects herself. "Anything"

"Can you make sure my car is gassed up and out front ready for me"

"I will get right on that" Fran tells Allie with a smile, happy to be able to do something in her job description.

"Thank you" Allie calls when Fran leaves shutting the door. She runs quickly over to the closet to find something to wear for the day.

* * *

Noah sands away in the shed. He is making a side table for a living room. The offers have been coming in for his house, not pouring. But when he gets a good offer he will sell. He needs to move on, a move, out of Seabrook, Charlotte, just move away. He is hoping to fix up his truck and drive the open road. There is nothing left here for him. He didn't think anything was left after his father died, but he had the house. He built the house again, that obstacle has been taken care of, it's time to fully let go.

"What are you doing?" Her voice is high pitched and slightly out of breath.

Noah heard a car, he wasn't bothering with it, because he was hoping whomever it was would just leave when no one answered the front door. Allie knows better clearly. Noah says nothing he only looks up from his task, not even dropping the sander.

"Noah…the house?" She says with a questioning voice and face as she waits for him to say something, say anything. "Say something, Noah"

"Do you want to buy it?" He says almost joking, not trying to be funny or to joke just to say it.

"No" She whispers shaking her head. "Why?"

"It's time, to move on" He says looking back at his work, and he picks up his lost pace again, he knows she hasn't moved but she is not talking, just watching him he is sure.

"Lon wants to buy it" She tells him, hoping that will make him change his mind.

"For you?" He says not looking at her, just listening to her.

Allie looks at the top of his bent head. "Yes"

"If he has the right price it's his" Noah mumbles.

Allie can't quite believe her ears. "Noah" She whispers.

"Look Al, I'm kinda busy here" Noah looks up at her, resting the sander down.

"Don't sell it to him, please"

"If I sell it, and he still wants it, the man I sell it to might end up selling it to him, so really" He says shrugging just a bit to get his point across to her.

Allie looks at him and sighs heavily. Her entire chest expands. She looks around the place, just because she can't bare to look at him anymore. His eyes staring at her make her almost feel naked. "This house was our dream" She says looking around, anywhere but his eyes as she talks. "You're going to give it to my husband"

Noah frowns watching her, because she is making no sense. It was their dream, but they are not together, they haven't been together in seven years, the point is very moot.

"I loved the art room" She turns around to face the outside, her back to him now. Allie folds her arms lightly over her middle.

"I'm glad, feel free to take the things, I packed them up" He tells her back, and he sees her head bed slowly and her body start to tremble. "You should head back home"

Allie listens to him and when she blinks the tears fall from her eyes. She quickly wipes them with one hand.

Noah watches her not sure what he should do. They don't share heartbreak. They would if they were a couple, she has Lon to wipe her tears for her now, it's not his job. Noah rubs his forehead, leaving a trace of light dust on it as he does.

To hell with it, Noah stalks over to her and takes her upper arm, turning her and pulling her close he embraces her lips with his own. "Allie" He whispers into her mouth. His hands cradle her face, not letting her pull away, though she doesn't feel like she wants to pull away. Noah takes steps with her, making her walk backwards.

Allie moves with him, her hands on his shoulders as they move slowly up towards the column of his neck. She holds him securely. Her back crashes into the side of the large shed/barn where he works. The cool summer sea breeze blows into through the door and right up her skirt cooling her down. The material moves against her skin as her legs hit the wooden wall. "oh" She gasps softly into his lips. Allie smiles into his mouth as moves a leg, her feet are pushing up on the balls of her heeled shoes, as she attempts to get closer. Her feet come out of the backs of her shoes as she tries more to get close to him.

"Yesss" Noah hisses pressing her against the side, his tongue licks her upper and lower lip. He smoothes his hands down her cheeks and to her neck, moving his kisses to the side of her mouth. Hearing her gasps when her mouth is finally free is music to his ears.

"Noah" She says there is a bubble in her throat as she speaks.

"Yeah?" He breathes into the skin of her neck, his kisses now there, moving up and then down, then up to her jaw again. His hands slide down her body and grab a gentle hold on her hips, pulling her closer.

"I-I" She says shutting her eyes tightly trying to think with him kissing her and her feet actually aching as they try to get her body closer to his. She is in a small duel. Her head is saying one thing offering her mouth the ability to talk, and her brain to function yet her body is still fighting to get as close as possible. "Um" She shuts her mouth as he nips her skin.

Noah sighs softly and rests his head on the wall next to hers. "You need to stop being around me" He says head pressed hard against the wooden wall of the shed. The pressure is making his head ache. "I won't stop kissing you til its too late" He tells her, lifting his head to look into her eyes. Her face is flushed and she is breathing deeply again. He takes his hands off of her body and rest them on the wall on either side of her head.

"We can't do this"

"Then don't come around" He tells her, his eyes watch her and he feels her wiggle, moving her leg to put her heel back into her shoe. "Go" He says gruffly.

Allie takes her lips into her mouth and looks at him her eyes moving back and forward watching him watch her. "I can't"

Noah just stares down at her, he makes a sexy sound, it comes from deep in his throat, and he lets his arms bend, causing himself to fall against her gently, pressing himself to her. Noah smiles when she gasps softly and turns her head to the side to look out of the shed. "Yes you can"

"No" Allie shakes her head, bringing her eyes away from the outside and back to him. "Noah?" She whispers, her hands come up again and hold onto his neck, her thumbs stroking over his ears and cheeks. "I want to go inside"

* * *


	5. Part 5 of 10

**PART 5**

Allie rolls over and looks at the chair which at the side of the room. She sees her dress on the floor and takes her lower lip into her mouth. She turns her head and sees Noah on his back with his eyes open.

"I know" Is all he says.

Allie holds the covers and sits up in bed next to him. She turns to her left to look at him still in his spot. "I…it's" She says securing the cover under her armpits she runs both of her hands through her hair.

"I know" He says again.

"Noah" She scoots in his bed to turn and face him more, her knee knocks into his hip. "I…"

"It was a mistake _I know_, you have to go _I know_" He says looking up. He didn't regret that nor did he regret the first time they made love. He knows she did, she does.

"No" She shakes her head, her hair falling into her face, Allie pushes it back quickly. Her tight bun almost fully loose now. "But yes I have to go"

Noah finally turns his head, it was amazing that she just told him for the first time it wasn't a mistake. He studies her face.

Allie licks her lips and looks at him, she leans down bracing a hand on his bare chest, she moves into his mouth. Kissing him deeply, she feels his hand cup the back of her head gently, not holding her down to him just touching her lightly. She shivers as she kisses him and her fingers trace his chest lightly. "Mmm" She makes a gulp sound as she pulls back. She licks her lips tasting him.

Noah watches her slide out of his bed and gather her clothing. He looks up when she turns to dress not wanting to intrude on her with his eyes. "You can stay" He says, giving her an out, still he wants her even after she got married to another man.

Allie looks at him and sighs with her head to the side. "You know I can't" And she wants to stay here in this house with him. But she just can't do that.

"You better go it's 4" He says looking at the clock next to his head. "Your husband will be home soon, it's a drive back" He tells her, turning his head back to look at her face, she nods slowly.

* * *

Allie arranges some flowers in the entrance hall of her home with Lon. When the door opens she smiles. "Hi" She breathes out.

Lon looks at his beautiful wife, greeting her with a soft kiss. "How was your day?"

Allie pauses as she looks into his eyes. "It was eventful" She says with a little smile.

Lon holds her face and makes a tiny face at her, glad she did something today that she clearly enjoyed. "I don't want you to get bored here, so that sounds good, eventful" He nods. "Is good"

* * *

_Allie gasps when she is gently dropped onto the center of the large bed. She looks at Noah and smiles. Allie moves her legs and arms, holding herself up so that she can move up higher on the bed. "Noah" She whispers his name as he joins her. _

"Hmm?" He mumbles now on her, holding her around her back, keeping her close as he kisses her neck and chin. He feels her nails rake down his neck and still clothed shoulders.

"I want you" She whispers her head rolling back giving him room.

Noah pauses a moment and looks at her, he watches her lift her head and breathe from her parted lips. Her eyes look at him and they are shining full of lust and something more. Noah nods to her comment and he pushes up on his knee to being his process of making love to this beautiful woman he loves.

"Ohhh" Allie sighs kissing his cheek and chin, then mouth, as she tries to get his shirt off.

* * *

"Yeah" Allie nods feeling her face heat up all of a sudden at the memory of today's events. "It was good"

* * *

Noah sits at the dining room table and he eats in silence. He picks up his beer and slowly drinks from the head. His drinking is full on, he doesn't stop for a breath until the last minute. He is trying to create a buzz and get Allie out of his head. He just can't. He is eating pancakes which are swimming in syrup at this point. Noah sits for a moment before pushing out and getting up. He throws his napkin down and heads out of the house.

* * *

The lake is amazing at night. He knows Allie would love it…again with Allie and her not leaving his head. Noah rows and rows, releasing all of the tension which built up after she left. He had an amazing time this afternoon with her. He smiles as he is rowing thinking about her and how scattered she is. He doesn't know how she acts when she is with Lon, but he can't imagine her being anything but who she is with him. Scattered.

* * *

She covers her mouth as she laughs. The white dinner cloth napkin hides her laughter. "Oh Lon" She smiles. When she moves her hands still laughing, she hits over her red wine. "Oh!" Allie exclaims standing quickly. This causes her to laugh, doubling over, her hand rests on the table as she supports herself.

Lon watches his wife, and he has never seen her act so…so like this. "Allie are you alright?"

Allie laughs and wipes her laughter tears nodding. "Gosh that felt good" She relaxes herself, there is already someone cleaning her wine up, and she has a new glass.

"I think you have had too much wine" Lon tells her still in his seat not even phased by this, only her outburst of laughter, but he has quickly forgotten that.

Allie pauses and looks at him not even a hint of anything in his face. "Lon?" He answers her by looking at her, and resting his fork down. "Do you want to go swimming with me?"

"Swimming?" He makes a face.

"Yeah" She says her voice light, very soft. "We could take a drive, and" She walks to him, trying to be spontaneous with him. Trying to be with him what she is with Noah, how she feels she can be with Noah. So far she is just Allie, lady like Allie. With Noah she is Allie, wild and free spirited Allie, she likes that Allie better. "We can find a little spot and just jump in"

"Allie" Lon shakes his head to her, he looks back at the file he was scanning over before she asked him such a ludicrous question.

Allie smiles a very small forced smile and she sits back down. Placing her napkin over her crossed legs, her back straight like a board, and she starts eating the rest of her dinner. She needs to get from him what she gets from Noah, it is the only way she will be able to stop thinking about Noah Calhoun.

* * *

Noah pulls his boat up on the dock, and he walks towards the house. When he reaches the house he smiles when he sees a basket on the porch. Noah sits next to it and uncovers the contents. "Martha" He smiles picking up the little card which lie on the muffins he reads, _'Enjoy'_. Noah picks up a muffin biting into it he looks up at the moon and chews away, enjoying it thoroughly.

* * *

A week later Allie drives towards Seabrook and she pulls up to his house,. She hasn't seen or spoken to him in a week. As she enters the drive she sees a car parked. Allie debates with herself about parking and getting out, but her curiosity gets the best of her and she parks, and exits her car. Her heels sink a little in the dirt as she walks, her feet finding grass, steadies her walk. Allie heads up to the screen door, the large wood door is open and she hears talking. Entering the house she follows the voices.

* * *

Noah stands nodding at the older man, the mans wife eyes Noah in a manner which makes him wonder how good the marriage is.

Allie stands and watches the couple, and Noah talk about the house. She watches the wife look at Noah, and she feels instantly jealous of the way she is looking at him. Noah has his hand over his mouth as he listens. Allie sees herself in this woman. Married but wanting to be with a man whom is not your husband. Hoping that man can provide something your husband can't. In Allie's case she knows already Noah provides something Lon can't. She finally has seen enough of this woman, and Noah talking about selling the house. Allie clears her throat, bringing the attention to herself. "The house is not for sale" She says walking into the room.

Noah's eyes look at her with shock, he is surprised to see her, and to hear her say the house is not for sale. He wonders who she thinks she is. "I'm sorry" He says to the couple.

"We will come back tomorrow, Mr. Calhoun, your home is just what we are looking for" The older gentleman extends his hand to shake Noah's.

"Thank you Mr. Calhoun" The woman says in a sweet voice, giving him an eye, she smiles seductively before clinging to her husbands arm leaving the house.

Noah turns and looks at Allie still somewhat in the doorway to the living room. "What are you doing Al?"

Allie looks at him rub the back of his neck with his hand. "What are you doing?"

"I told you"

"I thought you…" Allie says stopping because he cuts her off.

"You think your manipulation last week was going to change my mind?" Noah says, feeling slightly bitter that she is here, he wants her here but not just to make love to her. He knows that is what she is here for the second time.

"My what?" She says looking at him.

"You know what I said Allie" He says strongly.

"You are a…"

"A what?" Noah cuts her off again. "Why are you back here, its not going to work" He tells her.

Allie looks at him and shakes her head a bit, very slowly. "I am not trying to manipulate you Noah"

"What are you doing back here?"

Allie shifts and looks down for a second before looking back up at him. "I…I" She pauses and licks her lips. "I want to go swimming"

Noah arches an eyebrow up at her and cocks his head to the side. "Lets go then"

* * *

Noah has one hand on the dock and the other around her as they gently bob in the water. He smiles as her legs wrap around his waist. "It's not going to work"

Allie smiles, her arms are around his neck, and she throws her head back wetting her hair more. She knows her makeup must be a mess, but she doesn't care. She laugh, her laughing vibrations bounce off of his body. "This is fun" She says breathlessly moving in to kiss him.

"Hmm" He answers her, moving his mouth move over hers. "We should get out" He offers. Allie looks at him and nods slowly, wanting him just as much as she always does. Ever since she was 17, now after having him the passion for him just grew. Her ability to have him indeed lessened as she got older and things changed. Noah moves pushing her up on the dock, he pulls himself up and out.

Allie smiles when he gets out, her under dress clings to her body as does his undergarments. "It's cold" She tells him. Looking down she moves to find a sunny spot, but she is quickly pulled out of it because he takes her hand and they walk back to the house together.

* * *

Allie sits on the counter swinging her legs a bit with a towel wrapped around her. She looks at Noah's strong back as he stands in clean dry slacks in front of the stove. "It smells good" She says arching up so she can see over his shoulder as he cooks for them. "Is this how it would be?"

Noah listens to her, not sure what to say, not really sure what she means. "How what would be?"

"If we, if I was your wife" She tells him.

"I dunno Al" Noah turns around turning off the stove in the process. "You picked a different road" He explains as they are in the kitchen talking like friends.

"Are you going to sell this place?"

"Yeah" He says with a nod.

"Don't I get a say?" She questions him, making one last plea to get him to keep it.

Noah smiles a small smile. He remembers the first time they were in this house together, when it was just about falling in. She wanted a say, he followed through, she didn't. He assumed she would be living there with him when she asked for a room to paint in. She doesn't get a say this time. "No" He answers her.

Allie crosses her ankles together and sighs. She holds the towel around her damp body and rests her chin on her hand.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

To read the rest of this story you can read it at

**HelliesWorld** my new username for some reason trying to play my link in here does NOT work!

I will place the story up today in its finished form. Sorry I got lazy posting it here as its a bit more tricky than the message board I posted it on.

Cheers


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